The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 466
Production Info Intro Family Reunion * the face of a proud papa ** Stephen, Jr. * hadn't heard from him in months ** spotted in Oregon, the west coast's taint *** Taint Washington, taint California * 46 is number of Obama supporters * slogan will go from "Change We Can Believe In" to "Change We Jesus Christ Get This Eagle Off My Face!" * The proud papa asks his son to tell his vulture friends to stay away from John McCain ** he's still alive ACORN * more sinister than Al Qaeda ** ACORN * McCain said the fabric of democracy is threatened by ACORN ** fragile made of founding father's pantyhose * picked more ominous name, like ** KAOS ** * biggest peanut-based threat to America since Mr. Peanut tried to assassinate the Norton's salt girl * Dr. Colbert is deeply troubled by ACORN ** Tonight's Word: Fantasy Land * claims ACORN's threat is imaginary * we cannot let Mickey Mouse vote ** tries to make Obama feel good about his ears * Toon Town is in the tank for Barack * drop an anvil on every voter ** if a tiny bump rises up and little birds fly around their heads, they are arrested for voter fraud * HAVA * reject all new voter registrations ** go back to voter rolls in 2000 McCain's Hold On God * John McCain went to college with God ** voters are flocking to McCain like lambs to lamb camp * Reverend Conrad, a McCain supporter, may have called God a pussy ** minarets are not compensating for anything * Formidable Opponent * Dr. Colbert shows his God-Tournament bracket * Dr. Colbert offers to psych God up for the Final Four between God, Buddha, Vishnu (?) and Mohammad (photo not available) Atone Phone Calls * Yom Kippur ** Atone Phone * due to one of the callers (a child) saying The Report was boring, Stephen will introduce a new segment Pony Down ** profile America's top five pretty ponies Interview * Mike Farris ** chancellor of the first college for home schoolers * Patrick Henry College ** 85-90% of students are home schools * why leave the home to go to college * can hone what the parents have done * home school, home college, home job * gave Stephen an award ** Arbiter of American Morality * they have one book ** The Holy Bible * teaches creationism * known as God's Harvard ** kicks butts in *** debate *** moot court * Patrick Henry was home schooled in Virginia * anyone who accepts Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior can get into Heaven ** but, must have high enough SAT scores to get into Patrick Henry * harder to get into his college than it is to get into heaven ** eye of a needle at the front gate *** God needs to raise his standards Epilogue * that's all for tonight, why not do another one tomorrow night!? Gallery Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Motherload Videos External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments